Post-Kari Jobe Reflections…

I’m not quite sure how to begin… Or where to start… I saw the Kari Jobe and Al Denson concert tonight in Orlando at FBCO. Not only did I see it, I actually was operating a camera for it. I had a great evening, as I’m sure many others who attended did as well. But this post isn’t about how well Kari Jobe can sing, or how personable Al is, or even how amazing it was to hear those songs we listen to on Z88 and worship to on Sunday mornings in church. I can sit here and describe, in specific detail, how fantastic the stage and lighting design was, how packed and energetic the sanctuary was and how cool it was to run a camera for a popular Christian artist. But, it’s not about that.

You’re probably wondering what it is about. Coming from someone who is so mentally and physically exhausted from literally shifting their life around in one week, packing all their belongings and U-hauling it back to home base, it’s amazing how clear to me the whole point of this evening is. I am so beat-from a lack of sleep, a week of packing and moving, the emotional energy this has taken and realizing my life is literally doing a 180. And yet, I had perfect clarity tonight. Perfect clarity in the midst of a crowded sanctuary full of thousands of people worshipping, guitars, drums, vocalists, keyboards, children-every element that easily could be pegged as a distraction. And yet, they weren’t It all flowed together in perfect harmony. And even in those moments, where a crowd is singing and worshipping at the top of their lungs, while the instruments cut out and the voices are left solely a cappella, floating through the room like the sweet fragrance of a flower, God spoke. He spoke in that still, small voice. He brought me to a place where I literally wanted to fall on my knees and cry “Holy. Holy is the Lord, my God.”

I stood there, manning the camera, while inside I was prostrate on the ground. I have been experiencing a lot of stress in the last month-not even knowing if my mother, who has been battling cancer for well over a year now, would have been alive today. Praise God she is! But the sheer fact of her illness is what caused me to readjust my life and bring myself home, so I could finish school close to her and my dad. Sadly, I had made myself very comfortable in obviously thinking I could do my life by myself. I was good, you know? Things were going well here, there and everywhere. I am officially moved back to my favorite part of the United States and life was looking up. Boy did God yank me out of my comfort zone! All I wanted was to lay prostrate before him and say “God, Father, forgive me. Forgive me for trying to do it on my own. Forgive me for the way I’ve treated others, especially in my time of stress. And forgive me for the way I’ve treated myself,” I realized I’ve had such a big wall up because I’ve been scared of being vulnerable and getting hurt, so I just shut people down. It’s amazing that, on the outside it looks like they’re the ones with the problem-they’re the ones who you can’t stand for this reason or that-they’re not smart enough, not intelligent enough, or they’re too annoying or clingy-you can ALWAYS find a reason to justify your actions. But make sure you take a DEEP look at yourself-preferably before-and see if the problem is REALLY them. Or is it you?

Our amazing Heavenly Father convicted me. I pleaded within the depths of my soul for forgiveness. And suddenly this amazing burden was lifted. I was able to worship-genuinely. I think I sang louder than any person around me when Kari started “Revelation Song”:

Worthy is the, Lamb who was slain
Holy, Holy, is He
Sing a new song, to him who sits on
Heaven’s mercy seat

Holy, Holy, Holy
Is the Lord God Almighty
Who was, and is, and is to come
With all creation I sing
Praise to the King of Kings
You are my everything
And I will adore You

Clothed in rainbows, of living color
Flashes of lightning, rolls of thunder
Blessing and honor, strength and glory and power be
to You the only wise King

Holy, Holy, Holy
Is the Lord God Almighty
Who was, and is, and is to come
With all creation I sing
Praise to the King of Kings
You are my everything
And I will adore You

Filled with wonder, awestruck wonder
At the mention of your name
Jesus your name is power
Breath, and living water
Such a marvelous mystery

Holy, Holy, Holy
Is the Lord God Almighty
Who was, and is, and is to come, yeah
With all creation I sing
Praise to the King of Kings
You are my everything
And I will adore You

After that moment of cleansing and forgiveness and then a beautiful session of worship, I felt free. And suddenly, life was in perspective. My heart began aching for Heaven. Ater seeing all these believers gathered in one room, worshipping our God, I realized that’s what Heaven will be. And I realized that all those words that I left unsaid with close friends will be able to be said. We get into this mindset that this life is it-we’ve got one shot. And yet, if those who are around are fellow believers, we have eternity with them. How beautiful is that thought? We have eternity with the promise of no more sorrow, no more pain, no more tears. No regrets, either. Just genuine fellowship with other believers in the presence of the ALmighty God. I don’t know about you, but that thought alone makes my heart soar and my mind eased. Praise you, God. I give you all the glory. There truly is none like you. Thank you for coming to us at our greatest point of need and reminding us how much you love us and care for us.Help us seek to learn that every moment we are on this earth, with every breath we take. Hallelujuah.

How Now Shall We Live?…

For those of you wondering, yes I am borrowing this title from Charles Colson’s book. It really is a valid question.

If you are like me and have grown up or been a part of the collective church for the majority of your life, this is something you need to stop and think about. I really should be asleep right now, but I’ve had some thoughts stewing in my brain for the last few weeks and I don’t think I can sleep tonight until I get them out.

My mom was diagnosed last April with stage four ovarian cancer. When her oncologist came into the conference room in April of 2008, after her 6 and 1/2 hour surgery, apparently he told me and my father that she would live a matter of months and would be lucky to make it to Christmas. I somehow did not hear that. I think after getting there at the crack of dawn, knowing my mother was on an operating table having her insides gutted out and then realizing she wasn’t out of surgery when they had told us four hours tops, my nerves were shot and my hearing to listening function dull at best.

I will be honest. I have been angry-with myself, with God, with the doctors-for not realizing something was really wrong with her when she knew it was even a few years prior. She tried different hormone therapies, got on an organic kick, saw all kinds of doctors and nothing ever showed. She skipped one yearly female exam and the next year-boom. Ovarian cancer. Stage four.

We as a family have had a journey, but I think I have been the most reluctant to accept and deal. I used to excuse it because I was young and that’s just how people my age act. We’re supposed to question and get angry and fbattle with slight depression. It’s normal-or so I told myself.

Within the last 7 months, I have been in some emotional turmoil. I gave my heart away to someone who couldn’t give me what I deserved-or so he said. I truly thought this was my struggle, but when I took a deeper look, I realized there were some deep underlying issues and my unhealthy attachment to this particular relationship was just the tip of the iceberg.

I have spent the last three years of my life not actively involved in a church. Every time I was home, I was up at ready to go by 7 AM because I loved my home church. But up at school, I could not drag myself out of bed on Sundays to save my life. You could’ve blown a fog horn in my ear and I wouldn’t have moved-well, maybe just enough to kick you or politely yell “Get out now!”. I can’t even explain what has happened lately, but I would like to try.

It started one Sunday morning at FBCO when I walked into the church and started looking around me-REALLY paying attention to the details. I had one of the best Sunday mornings I have had in my entire life. I was so happy when I walked out of church and I couldn’t stop ranting and raving to my parents about it. The next Sunday, the same thing happened. As I was walking out of the church and getting into my car, something one of my friends had said to me hit me pretty hard. She said”You know, all you talk about when you come back from Orlando is your church.” I realized not only that she was right, but that I deeply had been suppressing my passion-church music. I had started college as a double music ed and sacred music major, but due to some setbacks had dropped the sacred for the sake of time. I realized on that Sunday that I had been denying my passion. And I determined I was going to become the woman that I needed to be in order to achieve my dream.

And so began my journey. It has been a very interesting ride for sure. I have had to wrestle with a lot of deep-seated issues from my past. Issues of insecurity, neediness, constantly seeking affirmation and approval, selfishness and many others, which I of course will still wrestle with. But God began dealing with me. He began the VERY PAINFUL pruning process-helping me let go of things I was holding onto so desperately that it was hindering me from being any use to anyone, even myself. I began to see how as a friend, I have probably taken more than I give, that I had spent so much time focused on myself that I wasn’t able to look past the end of my own nose to see what others around me might be struggling with.

When I said this pruning and wrestling was a painful process, I do mean it was PAINFUL. If you have ever been through it, you know what I’m talking about. It’s like you’re mentally fighting with yourself 24/7 and simultaneously trying to look like a semi-respectable member of society. So don’t be discouraged if you’re going through that even now. There was one way I was able to get through it and still be standing. Lean in really close and I just may tell you.

The secret is…

Colossians 3:2 “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.”

Yes, ladies and gentlemen. That was it. The secret that helped me survive. Let me explain…

Let’s rewind back to that basic question-How Now Shall We Live?

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” 2 Corinthians 5:17

If we are a new creation, we should not be living like the rest of the world. In dealing with my mom’s sickness and in dealing with this pain from this relationship I previously mentioned, I can honestly say if we do not have the right mindset as Christians, we WILL act like the rest of the world. We have to learn to look through God’s eyes and not our own. The best illustration I can give is this:

Grab a piece of paper and a pen. Draw a small dot near one edge of the paper and draw a long line line extending from it. Make it as long as the paper will allow.

Now let’s call that dot your life on this earth. And let’s call that line that you drew continuing on from that dot the rest of eternity. Sit there and process for a moment. Puts life in perspective doesn’t it?

The funny thing about that illustration is that it’s actually true. If we can retrain our brains to realize that this world is not our home, I mean REALLY not our home, then it makes so many things so much easier to deal with. That romantic relationship that went sour, the person you want but can’t have, the estranged parent, the dying aunt, the rebellious son or daughter, the angry spouse, the pain you feel from a rough friendship, betrayal, heartache, stress… It all becomes so much easier to deal with. Because this world is TEMPORARY. It is not in any way designed for sustainability and permanency. All you have to do is sit down in a Geology class for an hour as they explain to you how shorelines are eroding and greenhouse gases are eating away at the ozone and how the population is growing so fast that in so many millions or even thousands of years we’re going to completely deplete ourselves of certain resources. And that is only one field providing us with evidence…

My mom has been advocating this book called “Heaven” by a guy named Randy Alcorn (see link below). He has dissected the scriptures and given a very clear picture of what Heaven is going to look like. How we’re not going to be blobs or floating on clouds strumming on harps for the rest of eternity. It is going to be a place with no more tears, sorrow or pain. Sin will be no more. Relationships will be restored. Temptations will be gone. We will be so full of joy and have a relationship with our Father and with each other-and memory of the relationships we have built here on earth. I don’t know about you, but I will take temporary pain and letting go of something that maybe is not right for me now in order to keep my sanity and know that I will be able to sit with my friend in Heaven at a banquet and have a cup of coffee-though we won’t need the caffeine. Hopefully there will be white mochas and I DEFINITELY will not be ordering a non-fat.

I think that in this world, if we can retrain our brains and put life in an eternal perspective-God’s perspective, we would learn to not take life so seriously. We would learn not to fear the things we do. We would realize God is real, He is in control. There is a popular worship song written bny Matt Redman called “You Never Let Go.” These are the lyrics:

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death

Your perfect love is casting out fear

And even when I’m caught in the middle of the storms of this life

I won’t turn back, I know You are near

And I will fear no evil, For my God is with me

And if my God is with me, Whom then shall I fear? Whom then shall I fear?

Oh no, You never let go, Through the calm and through the storm

Oh no, You never let go, In every high and every low

Oh no, You never let go, Lord, You never let go of me
And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on

A glorious light beyond all compare

And there will be an end to these troubles, But until that day comes

We’ll live to know You here on the earth
Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on

And there will be an end to these troubles, But until that day comes

Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

I would pray that we as a Christian culture would seek to understand how much God loves us and that this life that we are living now is a

foundation for eternity-our building block for what’s to come. The things we do here will have a significant and profound effect on our

next life, if you will. So start living like it-as individuals, as a church and as a society. We have nothing to fear. Our God is with us.

So we truly can do all things through Him who gives us strength. Why not start your new life today?

Links:

Heaven by Randy Alcorn



Heaven



"You Never Let Go"


				

Adult Learners…

Life-long learners… A very good friend of mine and I were exchanging our views and personal philosophies about life a few months back and both of us, despite our 25 year age difference had reached the same conclusion; The day we stop learning is the day we die.

Life is all about lessons. It’s about learning, growing, changing, adapting, refreshing, renewing, rethinking… The second we as an individual cease this process, we are no longer actively involved in life. We are dead.

I started thinking about this concept just an hour ago when I ran into an old acquaintance who was pleasantly surprised to see me. Because he had left the University we both attended to begin his doctoral work and I had spent a semester at home in Orlando, we hadn’t seen each other in roughly a year.

We began discussing the process one usually undergoes in the transition from high school to college and then college to adulthood. I had a rough time with this transition and it was a little more public than most. He started sharing his transitionary process which he said began after he finished his college career. I shared with him that I was continuing my undergrad and well on my way to completion and he said something that struck me as profound. “You are, what we call at OSU, an adult learner. You understand the real consequences behind your actions.” The concept of an “adult learner” truly struck me. What is an adult learner? Is it a person who is of an adult age and is also a student? Or is it related more to the acceptance of responsibility and understanding the consequences of your education?

I concluded it is both. By definition, an adult is one who is “fully developed and mature.” Well, this idea is certainly amusing if we look around us and relate this definition to a certain age category-i.e. 18 and up. I know “adults” well into their 50′s or 60′s that the word mature and their name would never come up in the same sentence, unless riddled with sarcasm. And in trying not to be judgmental, this seems like an inaccurate definition. Or an incomplete one.

Even when we are of an adult age, when can an individual ever be considered FULLY developed? If life is about learning and growing, then this definition is counter-intuitive. Isn’t the old saying the older you get, the less you realize you know? Isn’t that the point of wisdom-to accept that we can’t know everything about everything? And just looking at the concept of maturity, do any of us ever really mature? Or have we just learned how to control ourselves past our childlike tendencies? I guess that part truly depends on your personal definition of maturity, since there are many contexts to that.

My point to this whole post is that we as individuals should never cease to learn or cut ourselves off from what we in the education field call “teachable moments.” They happen every day in our lives. Every conversation we have with our best friend or every encounter with a random stranger can teach us something new about life-about another person, about ourselves and/or about our world. I think that truly is the definition of an adult leaner.

“I stand upon my desk to remind myself that we must constantly look at things in a different way.” John Keating-Dead Poets Society

Close-minded?

It’s funny to me that if you claim to be a Christian and truly accept the Bible’s belief that Jesus is the way, truth and life (1 John 14:6) and no one comes to the Father (or goes to Heaven) but through Him, that you as an individual are considered to be close-minded. This is what was rolling around in my head at 3 AM on a Sunday morning, when I need really need to be up in 3 hours…

A very dear friend of mine consistently refers to God as God/Divine Source on a frequent basis. While she fully accepts what I say about scripture and my personal Christian views, she is also open to other philosophies and ideas. It seems there are many in the world today that think like this. I believe this openness got ushered in under the category of “New Age.”

Islam and Buddhism accept the teachings of Jesus and view him as an enlightened one or a valuable teacher, but Islam obviously does not see him as the Saviour and Buddhism does not believe what He preached about being the only way. Many today believe there are many paths to the same place and still others say I feel that this is my way to Heaven, but who am I to judge what others believe?

As Christians, we are never called to judge our fellow believers on their motivations or their beliefs. I have caught myself doing so and very quickly readjusted my thinking, that I have no right to judge another’s choices-I am not in their shoes and have no clue what issues they have struggled with. And yet at the same time, when I say I believe Jesus is the only way to Heaven, I get pinned as being close-minded. I don’t want that stereotype anymore than one wants to be pegged a cynic, a killjoy or a Bible-thumper. However, if I truly believe what the Bible preaches and I am not ashamed of what Jesus taught, I guess I will have to offend a few people and accept the stereotype.

I consider myself a somewhat enlightened person and I have found some great friends that are on that same level with me. I also have been drawing more of these types to me because we connect instantly on a level much deeper than the initial surface. It has become an interesting challenge to take these enlightened ideas, these concepts and beliefs and still apply them to my basic spiritual, Christian, Bible-based background. By enlightened, I mean that these people look outside the box and below the surface. They understand everything affects everything- i.e. your mentality affects your self-talk which then affects your body language, then the vibe you give off which then affects how you are perceived. So by simply adjusting your sub-conscious thought processes, you in turn affect how you are perceived. This is one of MANY examples.

I guess my struggle is stemming from the fact that I do feel I am open to hearing other’s beliefs and views, that I am consciously aware and working on viewing life outside of the box that our society tends to wrap us into and that I believe what Jesus said was true-that He is the only way. Am I less “enlightened” or “accepting” because of this? I do not think so-especially understanding, from a Biblical perspective that those who do not believe in Jesus as their Lord and Saviour will be condemned to hell… For eternity. I care too much about my friends and the people God puts in my path to not be concerned for them and their future beyond this world. I understand it’s not a popular view, but it’s what Jesus said. And what God said. And what the Bible says. Who am I to go against God’s authority?

I just wish we could get it straight. I wish the world could be a loving, accepting place and that we could all be worshipping the same God and enjoying fellowship with one another. But I understand that we were not made for this world. C.S. Lewis puts it best when he said, “If I find in

myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.” We were designed for perfection. Why do you think there is so much hate? War? Divorce? Death? Disease? Destruction? Adultery? Addictions? We as a society seek to fill a void with whatever comes easiest or gives us the biggest high. Whatever can help us alleviate the pain or forget we’re suffering. That’s what we seek because we don’t know what else to do or where else to turn. We were designed to live with God in perfection-in paradise-in fellowship with Him and with His creation. The good news-the hope that we have, is that we will be able to worship God together in love, peace and perfection where there will be no more tears-

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Revelation 21:4

Maybe why I’m wrestling with this now is because I realize how many opportunities I’ve lost in the past to be an influence to someone who may have needed Jesus and the message of the Gospel. Maybe I’m realizing there are people in my life right now that I care too much about that I will risk appearing close-minded if it will even plant the seed that there is more to this Christian thing-that Jesus did come and die on the cross to give us an amazing fellowship with our Father and allow us to make an attempt, while we are on this Earth, at true intimacy and vulnerability with others-and possibly kiss the face of God-or bow at his feet together in forgiveness, repentance, mercy and love.

I leave you with the lyrics to a beautiful worship song that seems incredibly pertinent after all of that:

“How deep the Father’s love for us, How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son, To make a wretch His treasure

Behold the Man upon a cross, My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice, Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there, Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life, I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything, No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ, His death and resurrection.”

How Deep the Father’s Love for Us

Music to My Ears…

I have been having a personal struggle recently with the question of “Am I good enough?” This question can spread to many areas of our lives, but I know I specifically have been focusing on it career-wise. My blog is titled “Reflections of a Future Church Orchestra Director” for a reason. Only within the last month have I suddenly realized the strong pull I have to church music. I can’t believe I couldn’t see it before, but I truly believe it wasn’t the right time-until now.

I attend a University in North Carolina but was born and raised in Orlando, Fl. I love it here. It’s my home and my place of comfort. And throughout my formative years, I was blessed to be a member of what many would call a “mega-church,” though I don’t see it as that. We have a full choir and orchestra that plays and sings during our 9 AM service and it truly has been a blessing to experience that music-making every Sunday.

Lately, I have found out from very close friends, that apparently church is all I can manage to talk about three days after it happened. I love the people, the environment, the music, the fellowship-everything. I love church. I am completing my Music Education degree for the sake of time and having a diploma which can allow me to propel versatilely into my future, whatever God’s plans may be.

I have had the benefit, over the last ten years to be blessed by a wonderful mentor who’s background is also in Music Education. I’ve watched him, assessed him, analyzed him, copied him and done everything else I could to grow and glean as much as possible. It has truly been a pleasure to serve with and next to my mentor. But, I get down on myself on occasion, especially when looking at how much he’s accomplished over the last 20+ years in his career and see how inexperienced I am comparatively. True, it’s not fair to myself to expect to be anywhere near as accomplished as he is, but I do know what I lack in experience I make up for in passion-love for what I want to do.

I was having a conversation with a close friend the other day as I was getting ready for a dinner party and said something along the lines of “I don’t know how I’ll ever be as good as him,” to which my friend replied;

“Michael Jackson singing “Man in the Mirror” for the one millionth time is just as beautiful to God’s ears as the child singing herself to sleep, as a music student practicing to get a piece of music perfect, as a seasoned musical professional who can play backwards with his eyes closed and upside down. God purposely made us different – to compare is devaluing the beauty of God’s creation; that’s why we all have our own fingerprints…”

To say that thought hit me upside the head like a brick is the understatement of the century, or even the millenium. The last thing I would ever want to do is devalue the passion and the gifts God put inside me. They are directly from him and who am I to compare my abilities, my strengths and my weaknesses with another individual and then sit there and convince myself I can never be as good. It just sounded so wrong. And even worse, I knew she was right-we hurt God when we devalue ourselves.

Another good girlfriend of mine shared with me one of her favorite sayings the other day. She said “It’s good to be you because everyone else is already taken.” Why do we spend our lives trying to live up to other people’s expectations or ideas of what we should be, how we should act, what we should do… It’s absurd, really. I know enough about myself to know I have a difficult time hiding my feelings, especially things I feel very strongly about. I have learned I am so much happier when I am true to who I am and who I was designed to be. In the same respect, why is there any separation between how I approach my feelings and how I approach my career, my goals and my aspirations-My God-given ones at that?! Who am I to question my abilities and my strengths comparatively to someone else’s, when I know full well I will bring an entirely different skill set to the table, which is not a bad thing. We need to be proud of our differences, confident in our uniqueness and praising God for what he HAS given us, not what He HASN’T. So maybe my mentor is a stronger choral conductor than I am, but maybe I am more sympathetic in my approach to my fellow musicians and church peeps. I am not capable of doing what he is capable of doing, because he will do his job, his calling in his way. I will do what I am meant to do in my own way. It will be neither better nor worse-just different. And I think the second we as a society start understanding this concept and being gentler with each other and encouraging one another in our weaker areas, we could see some huge changes in the workforce, our churches and our daily lives as humans…

More than conquerors…

Savior,
He can move the mountains,
My God is mighty to save,
He is mighty to save
Forever,
Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

I was listening to this song on my drive home tonight after having a very filled day at church and then dinner and a movie with a good friend. I dropped her off at her house, pulled out of her neighborhood, rolled down my windows, cranked up the volume and switched to my “Hymns” playlist. Well, at least that’s what it started with. I was tired of not having some sacred music on hand to take some time for reflection if given the opportunity. So I created a playlist including arrangements from Avalon’s Faith: A Hymns Collection, a beautiful a cappella group I found on ITunes called Discovery Singers and it included such classics as “He Leadeth Me, O Blessed Thought” and “Come Thou Fount” (one of my personal favorites).

As I mentioned above, it started as a hymns playlist, but quickly transitioned to include modern worship songs that I had heard in church regularly. It actually really started changing after Gracyn DenBesten sang “Healer” during second service a few weeks back (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCZjWZKtBTY). I was so touched by her that I watched the Youtube video I don’t even know how many times. The song inevitably got stuck in my head and, as a musician, I have learned the remedy to that issue-Listen to the song obsessively and it will leave your head. (Well, it works 8 times out of 10…)

In doing so, I came about the song you see above-Hillsong’s Mighty to Save. As I was singing the words I have sung countless times before, the phrases “He rose and conquered the grave, Jesus conquered the grave” suddenly struck a thought-provoking chord. I have been through years of Sunday school, church, Bible studies, youth retreats, chapels, etc. that I have learned my scripture. I am not proud to say that until recently I have ignored a lot of that teaching. I had shoved it off to the side, for what reason I’m not entirely sure, and tried to make it on my own. I had convinced myself I didn’t really need God the way I used to and that all this super-religious Christianity Bible-studying, Scripture-memorizing stuff was for people who weren’t as strong as me. That I could face the darker side of life and deal with it just fine. That, I can honestly tell you, was not the truth nor was it wise. Sometimes when you think you’re invincible, you place your heart and your trust in the wrong things and let me tell you from personal experience; when you play with fire, you WILL get burned.

When you get burned, the only thing you can do is return to the God who created you and ask him to help you deal with your pain, your disappointments, your hurt, your anger… You lay it all at Christ’s feet and say, “Here. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t deal with this on my own anymore. Father, it’s yours.” And the most amazing things start happening. Like paying attention for once to a song you’ve sang at least a dozen times and hearing God’s voice speak to you through your doubts, your confusion, your mental processes or developing a new understand of a verse “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him that loved us” from Romans 8:37…

Have you ever stopped and taken a super microscopically close look at this verse? If not, I urge you to do so. The verse does not state for we are conquerors. It very clearly states for we are MORE than conquerors. The American Standard version says “But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer…” Have you ever stopped to think, what does Paul mean by more than conquerors? I certainly had not before tonight. Thefreedictionaryonline.com provides 3 definitions for the word conquerer and the third is the appropriate context for this verse: ” To overcome or surmount by physical, mental, or moral force.”

If you take a look at the whole passage in context of Paul’s writing, this is what we see:

“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? ³⁶As it is written: ‘For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.’ 37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:35-39

Paul is saying that we are more than conquerors-we have victory upon victory over all these things-trouble, hardship, persecution, famine, nakedness, danger and sword. If we truly believe that scripture was God-breathed and useful for teaching and training (2 Timothy 3:16), I consider this the ultimate crash course. Nothing in creation can separate us from the love of God. And we are more than conquerors.

So what do we have to fear in this life and in this world? We don’t even have to fear fear itself. We are conquerors. We are MORE than conquerors through Jesus Christ who loved us so much he died on the cross for our sins (John 3:16) and rose again on the third day (1 Corinthians 15:4). I don’t know about you, but that certainly allows me to put my head on the pillow and sleep peacefully tonight…

337 Baptisms…

One of the 337 Baptisms from this last weekend. Photo courtesy of http://www.ktmphoto.net

Alright, after sitting on the front pew of our 15,000 member, 5,000 seating auditorium of a church this morning, I got inspired to start blogging. I could not contain myself as I watched people profess their belief in Jesus and get dunked in one of the five black, painted horse troughs we had on stage. I had been asked by our media pastor to take, essentially, before and after pictures of the baptizees. Maybe it would help if I rewind a little.

We all knew our head pastor had something up his sleeve a few weeks ago after our semi-annual Cocoa Beach baptisms. Twice a year, Pastor David invites people to sign up to be baptized at Cocoa Beach and we always have a fantastic turn out. But this time, the Holy Spirit had put something else on Pastor David’s heart and he announced to the congregation that we were going to take one Sunday service to baptize anyone who wanted to be. He preached a sermon on the importance of Baptism, referring to the story of (guess who?) John the Baptist and Jesus and Jesus setting the Biblical example that we as believers were called to follow.

I don’t think any of us quite anticipated what kind of response we would get. I just started last week on the media/tech team at our church and in the broadcast room before the Saturday night, our Broadcast Studio Manager informed us that we truly had no idea what to expect since we’ve never done a service quite like this before. We prayed and things got rolling.

From inside the broadcast room, things certainly look different than when you’re in the sanctuary. I have no idea what the energy truly was on Saturday night, nor do I know what it was for the 9 AM service on Sunday morning. All I know is I was seated on the front pew with my camera aimed at trough #5. The plan was simple-the baptizees would walk onto the platform, stand by their assigned dunking “coffin” and once it was their turn they were supposed to say “My name is (fill in blank). Jesus is my Lord and I am not ashamed.” Every person had been given a brown robe that they subsequently were to discard after they made their speech, revealing their white t-shirt underneath that stated in a beautiful sky blue “I Am Not Ashamed.” They then stepped into the troughs and were plunged underneath the water and rising to new life in Christ.

I think the most incredible moment-the moment that stirred something within me-was seeing our pastor stand on the platform and ask if there was anyone who would like to be baptized today. There were extra t-shirts and shorts so people wouldn’t have to drive home wet, ready for anyone who wanted to take the plunge-literally! The response was overwhelming. One person walked down the aisle. Then the next. And so on. I have no idea at this point how many they were planning on baptizing during the 10:45 service, all I know is that by the end of this weekend there were 335 people baptized with 198 during the second service.

Maybe it was one of those things where you had to be there. Maybe it was one of those moments you had to experience firsthand. Or maybe even reading my pitiful attempt at describing what happened within the last 72 hours affected you the way it affected me. But I know my life was changed forever by seeing others boldly and without shame profess their faith in their Lord publicly with such passion and commitment. It was truly inspirational and if I had not already been baptized, you can bet I would have been up there with my fellow Christians making the same stand.